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The journey to happiness is a long one. If you’re reading this, you probably already know that. And there are a lot of mistakes about being happy that you could make along the way!
It’s my job through this fancy little blog and podcast that I have to guide you through the journey to feeling joy. I want to help you in as many ways as I can!
It’s important to realize that you could mistakes along the way to being happy. Honestly, it’s inevitable! But there are some mistakes that you can completely avoid.
By reading through this post, you are giving yourself a chance to learn about five mistakes you might be making when it comes to being happy. Doing that will help you avoid them from the very beginning – and that is a pretty great stinkin’ thing! *high five*
Mistake #1: Looking outward for joy instead of inward
I know that we can all relate to this!
Personally, I used to be someone that tried to find joy in material things and it was truly miserable! I used to think that shopping for new clothes, makeup (that didn’t even look good, btw), and doing all the things that everyone else was doing would bring me joy.
I thought that trying to find my place of happiness in everyone and everything else was the magic solution. Until I finally realized one day that it simply isn’t.
The only way that you are ever going to feel pure happiness is if you find it from a place within yourself. If you keep trying to find it in other people and other things in your life, I guarantee you’ll never truly feel joy.
You need to think about what YOU love. What brings YOU the most joy?
It’s time to say a big ‘ole “screw it” to what everyone else thinks and what they do. Find what makes you the happiest and then those positive emotions will feel so aligned and true!
Mistake #2: Viewing your happiness like it’s a short-game
Okay, honestly…seeing this mistake drives me nuts. (If I’m not honest, what am I?)
So here’s what I mean by this: there is a major difference between trying to achieve happiness on a repeated, every day basis vs digging deep into your personal depths from the very beginning to achieve joy.
Think about having to wake up every single day in a bad mood and fighting through those emotions every single morning you’re alive…sounds awful, right?
That’s one way to do it – and it’s way more emotionally draining. You’re not doing yourself any favors by doing that!
There are a lot of methods and techniques out there that can help you feel much happier in the moment. Sometimes, using those methods are very important. (I talk about those techniques in my previous episode, which you can read here.)
Using short-game methods for your happiness can be super effective when you are dealing with sudden negativity and just need to boost your positive mood quickly.
Even I still need to do that once in a while!
But the problem comes when you are managing your unhappiness by only using the short-game method.
Starting right now, you need to dig much deeper into the reasons why you’re feeling unhappy and solve any problems you might have from the ground up. AKA the long-game method!!
You will need to use techniques that are a bit more advanced. You have to get out of your comfort zone to work through tougher things in your life.
When you go about your journey to happiness in that way, you’re setting yourself up for much more success. When you dig deeper into your struggles from the start, there’s such a bigger chance that your emotions will start to feel more positive overall as time goes on.
After that, it won’t be such a battle for you each day to get out of bed. Over time, you’ll notice that happiness will be easier and easier to feel.
Mistake #3: Not fighting through the hard times when they come
I know that I’ve talked about this before, but the journey to happiness is never a straight uphill one. It never will be!
Unfortunately, there’s this little, annoying thing called life and it always has its own agenda. It’s inevitably going to throw some crappy things your way.
Being happy and joyful doesn’t mean that you will feel 100% happy 100% of the time. That’s just not realistic! Even for me – I’m a happy person, but I still have some hard moments.
Going through some hard times doesn’t mean that I am completely unhappy, though. Not at all!
Life requires you to have a balance of both uphill battles and pure, joyful moments. Obviously, I don’t know what member of the Universe decided to make that crap up, but, alas…the rule exists. Lol.
The key to all of this is to remember that going through a tougher period in life doesn’t mean that you have to *stay* in that negative space.
Sometimes, happiness and joy can feel like very fragile emotions. If something comes by and tries to take those emotions away, you might feel very overwhelmed and you don’t know how to come back from it.
But you have to! You have to learn how to keep going and pushing through those tougher times so you can get back to being happy! (That’s a whole other post for a whole other time.) But you see the gist.
You learn a LOT about yourself and your life when you keep fighting through darker times. And when you do, and you feel joy on the other side of that, it’s so much more special to you!
No matter what, you should never, ever give up when hard times land on your front doorstep. They are completely inevitable. If you let them keep you down, you’re only pushing your happiness back further. There’s no point in that, so put up your big-kid guns and keep fighting!
Mistake #4: Letting other people bring negative energy into your life
This. Is. MAJOR!
There are some things in your life that you will never be in control of, unfortunately. However, the one thing you are in control of is the people in your life.
Specifically, the people that bring negative energy into your life. You get to choose how they affect you and what their presence and energy means to your life.
Here’s a wild truth bomb for you – if there is someone that you are continuously complaining about and are always having a problem with how they act, that is on you.
There is, truthfully, no one else to blame for that. You could try to blame the person that’s causing the negativity, but that’s really just a waste of time.
By blaming the person that is causing the issue, you’re trying to confront them and change the way they’re behaving. But people don’t change because you ask them to. They only change because they want to change themselves. And if they don’t want to change – there isn’t anything you can do!
So you have to take charge of that situation. If someone isn’t lighting up your life in a very positive way – it’s time to get rid of them! It’s a major mistake to let that person hinder you from feeling happy just because they have previously been a part of your life.
You need to figure out how to put a stop to the way their negative energy affects you. You can do that by either setting some boundaries with that person or getting rid of them entirely.
I talk about that negative energy in this episode of the podcast so you should absolutely check that out if you need to know how to set effective boundaries.
Ultimately, allowing those negative people and their energy into your life is only delaying the happiness you could be feeling.
Ready to take what you’re reading to the next level? Check this out!
Mistake #5: Not setting intentions and goals
Intentions and goals are some of my top favorite things ever. I love teaching other people how to use them in their journey to being happy!
In my ebook, Anxious, Depressed and Joyful, I have an entire section on setting goals and intentions and they are used before anything else in the ebook.
Intentions and goals are the best possible base you can set for creating joy in your life. Literally everything else that you do in your happiness journey will relate back to the intentions and goals you set.
I believe that if you skip taking the time to set those intentions and goals, then you are seriously missing a very critical step in creating happiness.
It’s a critical step because intentions and goals give you the complete visual of happiness that you need to structure everything else around! If you don’t have a vision of what happiness means for you, how in the world can you expect to get there?
But if you know what you’re on this journey FOR, then you can make every other decision in your life much easier because you know what you’re working towards.
The other key aspect of this is that you need to set BOTH intentions and goals, not just one or the other.
Intentions are based within emotion and desire, whereas goals are based in the actionable steps you take to get there.
If you only set intentions, then you’re missing the step by step guide you need to make them real. If you only set goals, you can lose sight of WHY you’re even setting them in the first place.
No matter what, you need to set both. Set your intentions first, and then set the goals (that way they are giving you the complete guide to making your intentions your reality!)
When you have that clear vision in your head, everything else gets so much easier. You will always have a pretty clear line of sight into what you’re trying to achieve!
Now you know the 5 mistakes about being happy that you need to avoid!
By knowing about these mistakes in advance, you’re setting yourself up to avoid them and be better off! Your happiness is much closer to becoming reality when you’re able to see what mistakes you could make in advance.
Let me know in the comments what you think about this post!